Into The Fire

Knock, knock, knock!

Carp opens the bedroom door to find three pixies standing on the other side of it.

“Hi.”   Pixie One says.

“We wanted to stop by and say 'Hello'.”   Pixie Two says.

“Hello.”  Carp says and begins to shut the bedroom door.

“What are you doing?”  Writer Lady asks.

“Saying 'good-bye' to the snoops.”  Carp says as he closes the door the rest of the way.

“That isn't very polite.”  Writer Lady says.

“What they're here for isn't very polite either.”   He counters.

“Open the door Carp.”

“You're going to feel like you've been run over when they leave.   You'll never be sure which bus hit you.”

“How do you know?”  Writer Lady asks.

“They're pixies, they hang out with TP, they are part of the faerie press and they're females.  Hel-lo.”

Writer Lady crosses her arms and waits.

“If you're determined to be raked over those magical coals...well don't say I didn't warn you.”

“Open the door.”  Writer Lady says.

Carp opens the door.  “Ooops.  Sorry.  The door just slipped.”

All three pixies glare at him.  They cross the threshold into Writer Lady's bedroom and begin floating up stopping when they are eye level with Writer Lady.

“Hello.”   Writer Lady says.

“Hello.”   The three pixies answer in unison.

“The door shutting in your faces really was an accident.”  Carp says.

Pixie One turns to look at Carp.  She 'Hmms...' with indignation and turns back to Writer Lady.  “As I was saying.  We came to say 'Hello'.”

Pixie Two and Three chime in.  “Hello!”  Smiling enthusiastically.

“Hello”  Writer Lady repeats laughing a little.

“We would like to get to know the woman that has stolen Monitor Man's heart.  He is one of our most favorite humans.”

“I wouldn't say that I've stolen his heart.”

“You definitely have his interest.”  Pixie One says.

“How long have you had his interest?”  Pixie Two asks.

Writer Lady looks at Carp who mouths the words, “Told you.”

“My goodness that is a specific question.   A very specific question.”  She thinks for a moment, then says,  “I had no idea that Monitor Man had any interest in me whatsoever.”

“Really?”  Pixie One asks.

“I have not seen him since The Ninja Zombie War.”

Pixies One, Two and Three all take out recording devices and put them in Writer Lady's face.

“You haven't?”  Pixie One asks.

“I have not.”  Writer Lady repeats.

“You do not know of his break-up with Incredibly Hot Woman?  Are you not aware that he has been dating one woman after another never to settle in with any other starlet?   It is most unusual behavior.”   Pixie One says looking at Writer Lady accusingly.

“I'm sorry he's having a tough time?”  Writer Lady offers.

“I...we have been reporting since the early days of Hollywood.  We see patterns of behavior.  We know that Monitor Man flits from woman to woman like this when he's trying to throw us off.” Pixie One says.

“He's hiding something.”  Pixie Two adds.

“We think it's you.”  Pixie Three finishes.

“Is it?”  Pixie Two asks.

“You?”  Pixie Three continues.

“Me?”  Monitor Man asks.  “No.  This budget is the work of Tinkletoes.  As you can see he worked really hard on it.”  He says looking at the display behind him.

Tinkletoes' Budget

$2,000.00/mnth Cupcakes

$500,000.00/mnth Guns, Knives and Ammo

Two Million/mnth Lightsaber Research and Development

Twenty Million/mnth Space Alien Defense

Twenty Million/mnth Zombie Apocalypse Prevention

I will need $42,522,000/mnth not including Room, Board, Medical, Dental, Living Expenses and Walking Around Money.

The pixie press begins protesting the moment Monitor Man stops talking. Tinkletoes enters the kitchen, walking past the crowd of pixies and joining him at the podium.

“How's it going?”  Tinkletoes whispers, smiling for the crowd.

“Not good.   Not good at all.”   Monitor Man says.

“Did you mention that the $2,000/month was for the really fancy cupcakes?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Yes.  They still don't like the budget.”

“Do they know how fancy the cupcakes are?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Yes.  I even told that you would share.”  Monitor Man says.

“That's the problem.  They know that I would never do that.”  He whispers.

“They keep shaking their heads and asking why Writer Lady isn't baking the cupcakes.”

“She won't have time.  She will be too busy following me around and calling me 'Commander'.”

Feeling a tug on his pant leg Tinkletoes looks down to find Dylan looking up at him.  Dylan crooks his finger and Tinkletoes squats down for more information.

“It's not about the $2,000 cupcake.   It's the forty million a month.”  Dylan says.

Tinkletoes looks up at Monitor Man who looks down and nods.

Tinkletoes stands up and glares at Monitor Man.

“Why didn't you tell me?”   Tinkletoes asks.

“I was working my way up the list.”  He says.

“It's okay.” Tinkletoes calls out to the crowd, taking his place in front of the microphone.  “The forty million a month does not go to just one thing.   Twenty million is for Space Alien Defense and twenty goes to Zombie Apocalypse Prevention.”

The crowd starts booing.

“This is ridiculous.”  One pixie calls out.

“Who's paying for this?”  Another pixie calls.

“Humans, all they do is spend, spend, spend.”

“You humans are all alike.”  A pixie in the front row says.   “You're afraid of anything that is a little bit different.”

Tinkletoes looks at Monitor Man, then looks back at the crowd.  “Afraid?  No we aren't afraid.  As a human, I'll explain it to you.  We are not afraid.   We just like to kill things before they have the chance to kill us.  We are protecting ourselves and all of you.  That money will see to it that no zombies or space aliens get the opportunity to wipe us out.”

“Like you protected yourself from those innocent Ninja Zombies?”  A pixie calls.

The booing grows louder.

Tinkletoes turns his head towards Monitor Man and whispers, “Now is the time, when the chips are down that we do what all great politicians do.”

“What is that?”

“Declare the party over.”  Tinkletoes whispers.

“So?”  Pixie Three asks.

“Is it?”  Pixie One continues.

Writer Lady looks to Carp for direction.

He mouths the question, “Having fun?”

“He is not hiding me.  I have been here the whole time.  Until recently I thought that Monitor Man found me as interesting as his annual prostate exam.”

“No, no, no...”  Pixie Two giggles.

“He hates those.”  Pixie Three says.  “Do you remember the time Monitor Man had the flu?”

“When he had the really high fever?”  Pixie Two nods.  “He kept saying, 'No Doc, don't ask me to bend over.  I don't want to bend over.' ”

Pixie One starts giggling as well until she sees Writer Lady smiling.  The pixie retreats back to her serious stance and says.  “Are you saying that you didn't know about this?”  Pixie One rewinds her recorder and presses play.

“So Monitor Man what kind of woman has caught your eye?  She must be something to draw your attention from Incredibly Hot Woman.  Which rising starlet is it?   Give us a hint.”  The interviewer asks.

“I won't give you any names.   I want to respect her privacy.  Besides, I don't even know if she would like a guy like me.”  Monitor Man grins.  “I will tell you this she's bright, funny and independent.  Oh and kind of spunky.”

Writer Lady pales and looks at Carp.

“Told you.”   He says.

The bedroom door bursts open.

“Okay, that's it.  The party's over!”   Tinkletoes calls out.  “It's time for you ladies to go.”   He says looking at the pixies.

Kissing and Telling

Tinkletoes reaches out and grasps Monitor Man's shoulder.  “They can see in the dark.”

TP disappears quickly.

“Fantastic.”   Tinkletoes whispers in Monitor Man's ear.

Monitor Man tenses in preparation for the coming altercation.  “Um...yeah.”

“They are gonna make great secret service officers.  They love you so much, we shouldn't have any trouble recruiting a few of them.  We're still running mates, aren't we?”

Monitor Man coughs briefly.   “Yeah.”

“I thought we could get together here when we need to go over stuff.”  Tinkletoes says.

Monitor Man feels a tug on his pant leg and looks down to find Dobby looking up at him and shaking his head 'No.'

“You like Writer Lady okay, don't you?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Yeah.”  Monitor Man says.

“Good.”  Tinkletoes says patting Monitor Man on the back.  “I'll make sure to tell her that you're sleeping in her bed tonight.”

“What?”  Writer Lady asks.

“I said, 'That doesn't count.'”   Carp responds.  “I heard your thoughts!  That kiss was waaaay hotter than 'his breathe was minty and sweet'.”

“It's the truth.”  Writer Lady says.  “Besides, less is more.”  She adds weakly.

“In your case less is useless.  You need to amp up your descriptions because no one is going to read that novel honey.”

“Okay.   Fine.  You read my thoughts.  You're a writer.  How would you tell it?”

Carp looks at Writer Lady studying her expression.  “His lips were surprisingly soft even though his skin was rough against my cheek.”

Writer Lady shakes her head.  “He was clean shaven.   I think his aftershave is what smelled so good.”

The would-be assassin takes out a notebook and starts writing as he narrates.  “His lips were as soft as his freshly shaved cheek and the scent of his aftershave still lingered on his skin; it was as intoxicating as he was.  He held me close, engulfing me.  I could feel the solidness of his arm muscles flexing under his sleeves.  My suitor was having trouble curbing his wanton desires.”  Carp looks at Writer Lady who is looking at him with disapproval.

“It wasn't like that.”  She says.   “He kind of...drew me in.  He drew me in to a special place and we were the only two people there.   It was warm and I felt...safe.”

“Are you ready for the big finish?”   Carp asks.

Writer Lady nods unenthusiastically.

“I could hear him growl low in the back of his throat, he quickly and expertly pinned me against the nearest wall.  I could feel nothing except his...”

Writer Lady mouths the word, “children”.

Carp sighs briefly, “...passion.  A passion so strong that I could barely stand up.”

“I don't know where you get that.   None of that last bit happened.”  Writer Lady hesitates for a moment deciding how much to share.  “I did lose my balance...a little.”

“That is one hot man.”  Carp says.   “Who could blame you?”

“I don't think I had lunch today.   That had to have been what made me dizzy.”

“Not the hot man holding you in his arms and... ?”  Carp asks, he grabs a bed pillow and begins demonstrating.

“Do you ever think about what it would mean if a child were to read your writing?”  Writer Lady asks, changing the subject.

“It means that I just saved Mommy and Daddy one of those special talks.”

THUMP!

Carp reaches out and opens the bedroom door.  Taking advantage of the opportunity, Tinkletoes sticks his head inside.  “Hi.  I just wanted to take a minute to let you know that Monitor Man is sleeping in your bed tonight.”

Carp looks at Writer Lady and grins.

“What do you mean?”  She asks.

“Since we're in the early stages of this campaign he needs to stick around.  The guy's gotta sleep.”

“Where am I going to sleep?”  Writer Lady asks.

Tinkletoes looks at the bed.  “That's a good size bed.   I'm sure y'all won't be fightin' each other for space.  Besides when people are sleeping they don't move around a lot.  What else is a bed for?”  Tinkletoes turns his head away listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen.  “I've got to go.  I left Monitor Man alone in there talking about budgety stuff.   There's never much to say about that.” Tinkletoes closes the door leaving Carp and Writer Lady alone again.

“When the wall falls on Tinkletoes there won't be anything left.   Not even a boot."  Carp says looking at the closed door.

When The Magic Becomes Real -- Not An SNS Story

 I have a confession to make.   I can be cynical about love.   I don't mean quietly rolling your eyes when someone posts a picture of them with their third “true love” this year on Facebook.   I mean cynical.   Saying “Not Again!” as loudly as possible, heckling romantic movies, blaring “Love Stinks” throughout the house, watching as little television as possible between the months of November and February cynical.  On a really bad day I have an urge to put something through the television.  Of course, that was years ago.  I must be mellowing in some ways.  
     The truth is that I am cynical at times because I believe in love.  Intensely.
     I can hear your “Whaaaat?” from here. 
     It doesn't make much sense does it?
     George Carlin said that “Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist.”   Bearing that in mind,  I must really love...love.  I do. 
     We talk about it, write about it,  sing songs about it, and make movies about it.  People that can't even understand each other due to language barriers agree that love is a wonderful thing.  Love is universal.   It's also amazing, unpredictable and life affirming.  When two people are right for each other it is quite simply, stunning.  It also makes the world a more beautiful place for the rest of us.
     This cynic has another confession.   I love fairy tales too. 
     “Omg, you're one of those women aren't you?”  Yes, I heard that.   I know what you're thinking.  When my cynic is in charge I say those things too.   “She's always dreaming of a man.  Some women just can't be without a man.  She'd be happier if she would just relax and stop looking for a man.”   I have heard other women say things like, “I thought things would be different.  I thought that he was going to take care of me.” I also thought to myself,  What planet is she from?  I think I want to live there.    I have listened to the arguments against fairy tales and the ridiculous expectations they create.  I have at times agreed with them.  Those arguments, you know the ones, that suggest that women grow up with unrealistic expectations of what love is and what their lives will look like after they have found it. Mentally, I blamed the fairy tales for these views of romantic love.
    Now for my point.  Yes Mom.  I have one.  I think.  No there might be like, three or something. 
    Lately, I have been believing in impossible things.  I know what you're thinking, “She's changing the subject.  Why is she changing the subject?”  Be patient with me.  I know that my road meanders a bit but trust me, I'll get you there.   While believing in impossible things you realize how much of life is full of possibility.  (See Six Impossible Things on Wattpad).  Today my impossible thing was:  Today Magic Will Become Real.
   My impossible thing from yesterday came true.  Today I will embark on a new journey.  All details are worked out for me. My only requirement is to step out the front door.  Late in the afternoon I went for a walk.   I embarked on a journey and clearly the details were taken care of.  It's not the vision I had but...it still happened.
   This morning while I was in the shower, showers are good places for thinking just so you know,  I was thinking about today's impossible thing.  I wondered when does magic become real?  My answer:  When two people have that brief fairy tale moment, looking into each other's eyes and falling in love.  That is when magic becomes real.  See I told you I'd get there.
    That is truly the magic of fairy tales and why it is good to love them.  The handsome princes, the fair maidens, the fire breathing dragons, the kingdoms far, far away, even the vague “They lived happily ever after” which I would be happy to explore with you down the road, shit...back to my point.  They are the window dressings.  The reason we take part and read, listen to or watch the story is for that one moment, when the magic becomes real. 

In The Dark With The Bear

The room is completely dark.  Writer Lady can hear random chatter around her. 

 Pixies calling, “What's happened?”  “Someone's turned out the the lights.” “Magic is so much more reliable.”  

Tinkletoes' footfalls (okay...thumps) can be heard leaving the area.

Monitor Man's arms are still around her holding her upright.  “The lights will be on again soon.”  He says reassuringly.

It's dark, no one can see anything.  I can do this...I can do this.  Echoes through Writer Lady's head.  She raises her head to face Monitor Man.  The top of her head meets the bottom of his chin.

“Ouch.”  He says just loud enough to let her know that something solid is in her immediate vicinity.

“Sorry.”  Writer Lady whispers.  I can't do this....I can't do this.   She closes her eyes.   Is that Monitor Man?   He smells so good.  Writer Lady leans in to get a better whiff and their lips meet.  I'm kissing him.   I can't believe I'm doing this. She thinks as she puts a little bit more enthusiasm into the kiss.

“Open your mouth, Silly Woman.”  Carp's voice can be heard ringing through her mind.

Go away Carp!

Seconds later Monitor Man's lips part.

Oh my goodness.  Oh yeah.  Writer Lady leans into Monitor Man because...something solid...because...difficult to stand up.

The kiss ends seconds before the lights come up.  Writer Lady and Monitor Man take turns turning away from the crowd in order to rearrange themselves.

Tinkletoes returns to the kitchen.   “Everything's all right.  A fuse went out but I have things situated.”

Writer Lady looks at Dobby as the ginger tabby follows Tinkletoes back into the kitchen.

“It's okay Mom.   We fixed it.”

“He's right. We fixed it.  I just replaced the burnt out breaker with a working one.”

Writer Lady nods, slowing her breathing as she realizes that no one knows what just happened.  Except for Monitor Man because he was there.  And Carp...because Carp somehow has the ability to muck around in people's minds again.  She looks around the room slowly, looking for signs that someone witnessed their kiss in the dark.   Tinkletoes reaches out and touches her on the arm, Writer Lady jumps.

“I fixed the lights but don't try to use the washer or dryer.  There's no power to them right now.   I'll fix it later.”

Writer Lady nods.

“You look real pretty.”  He continues.   “Would you mind skedaddling?  We're doing important political guy stuff right now.”

Get out now and come tell me everything.  Carp's demand rings through Writer Lady's head.

Writer Lady mentally rolls her eyes, nods and quietly retreats from behind the podium.

“Before you go, could you put some food out?”  Tinkletoes asks.

Writer Lady quietly waves good-bye and leaves the room.  Monitor Man waves back as Tinkletoes is checking his own appearance.

Tinkletoes leans in and whispers to Monitor Man, “You might want to check your hair.  You have a cowlick.  Unless you like playing with your hair or something.  Do you...?”

“Do I what?”  Monitor Man whispers back.

“Play with your hair a lot?  I hear you actor types do that stuff.”  Tinkletoes studies Monitor Man's spot of mussed hair.  “I bet I know what it is.  You got mobbed at the airport didn't you?  Some woman's been runnin' her fingers through your hair.”

Monitor Man adjusts his hair quickly.  “Yeah.  That must have been it.  There were so many women...”

“You probably can't keep track of all of them.”   Tinkletoes agrees and looks at Monitor Man more closely.   “Don't look now but I think one grabbed your butt too.”

Carp corners Writer Lady the moment she returns to her bedroom to change.

“You are so bad.”  Carp says.   “You never told me what a wild woman you could be.”

“What are you talking about?”  Writer Lady asks, pulling off her shoes and pulling her jeans back on under the skirt of the British flag dress.  “I just kissed him.  By accident.   He was the one who...”

Carp shakes his head.

Writer Lady looks at Carp.  “What?”

“Don't play innocent.  I was in your head.   I know where your hands were missy.”

Writer Lady blushes.

“Are you going to tell me that was an accident too?”  Carp asks.

“I never know what to do with my hands?”

“I'll forget that I know anything on one condition.”  Carp says.  “Details.  Spill.”

“Who has the next question?”   Tinkletoes asks.

Several pixies raise their hands.

Tinkletoes picks one in the third row.  “Okay you.”

“I have a question for Monitor Man.  How long have you and Writer Lady been seeing each other?”

“That's easy.”  Tinkletoes says.  “They haven't.”

Tinkletoes looks at Monitor Man.   “You haven't been seeing Writer Lady.  I would know.”

“You're right.  We have not been seeing each other.”

“Next question.”  Tinkletoes calls, choosing another pixie.

“How long have you two been texting?”

Monitor Man answers, “We haven't.”

“That's enough with the personal questions.  We are running for office.  Who has a political question?”   Tinkletoes asks.

A pixie in the back row raises her hand.  “I have a comment.”   She squeaks. “That was one heck of a kiss for two people who aren't seeing each other.  Maybe you should ask her out.”

A pixie in the front row giggles and the kitchen fills with the chatter of pixies agreeing and adding comments of their own.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”  Monitor Man says.

“You don't remember being kissed like that?  It was dark but I thought humans had better senses than that.”  The pixie in the back comments.   “We saw everything.”

“Are you sure no one knows what happened?”  Writer Lady asks.

Carp shakes his head.   “No one saw a thing.”

“Pixies are magical creatures.”

“They only see movement.”  Carp reassures her.

“But can they see in the dark?”  Writer Lady asks.

“Our eyes are far superior to yours.  Of course we can see in the dark.”   A pixie answers Monitor Man's question.

“So how well can you see?  It's just shapes...outlines.”  Monitor Man says prompting the pixie to agree.

TP pops in between Monitor Man and Tinkletoes' heads.  The two candidates are standing side by side.  Best buds.  Political brothers in arms.  “They see in the dark like a human does with night vision goggles.”

“That's pretty good.”  Monitor Man says.

“You can't hide anything from a pixie.  Silly human.”  TP says.

Pursuing The Bear

Writer Lady looks at what she is wearing.   “What's wrong with my clothes?”   She asks.

“Jeans and a t-shirt.”  Carp says making a face.

“It's 25 degrees outside.  You're lucky I'm not wearing a parka.”

“The kind with a hood?  Because I hate to tell you sweetie but your hair looks awful.   How do you feel about hats?”

“I don't like them.”

“I always say that hats are like books if you don't like them then you haven't found the right one.”

Writer Lady glares at Carp.

“Where are your shopping hormones?  Do you have them in sleep mode?  Repeat after me, 'Looking pretty is fun'.”  Carp says.

“Your mama dresses you funny.”   Writer Lady responds.

“At least I'm out of my bathrobe between the hours of 10 and 9.”

Writer Lady rolls her eyes.  She turns and looks at the door.  “Is that Monitor Man walking by?”   She asks.

Carp sharply turns to face the entry door and peeks out.  High pitched giggling commences, Carp looks down to find two pixies hovering near the base of the door.

“Cookies?”  A pixie asks.  “Every other dollar helps fund the Tinkletoes/Monitor Man Presidential campaign.

“No thank you.”   Carp says closing the door.  “Pixies.”  He mutters.  “Tinkletoes is still running for President with Monitor Man.  We need some red, white, and blue.”   Carp looks at Writer Lady.  His gaze wanders the length of High Command's walls stopping at a picture taken of Writer Lady with The Lady with the Long Golden Hair during their trip to the Land of the Rising Bird.  “I can get you out of here in two shakes to see Monitor Man and we don't have to go shopping.”

“What's the catch?”  Writer Lady asks.

“No catch.”  He says.   “Not yet anyway.   Do you have a push up bra?”

“I might.”  Writer Lady answers.

A few minutes and a lot of arguing later...

“I don't like this.  This is a bad idea.”  Writer Lady says.  She is standing in front of a full length mirror in her British flag dress.

“You look fantastic.”  Carp says putting the finishing touches on her hair.

“It's freezing outside.  I'm freezing.”

“I know your skin is a little bumpy but it's doing wonders for your cleavage.  You're wearing red, white and blue perfect for a political campaign.”

“It's a British flag dress!”  Writer Lady points out.

“It is an inspiration.  It reminds Monitor Man of what can be overcome with focus and a little bit of hard work.”

Writer Lady glares at Carp and growls.

“Okay a lot of hard work.”

Writer Lady shakes her head.  “This is ridiculous.  Monitor Man cannot possibly be here for me and what about Tinkletoes?”

“What about Tinkletoes?”  Carp asks.

“We have a date to go out on a date.”

“As my grandmother used to say, 'You snooze you lose'.”

“That's not very nice.”  Writer Lady says.

“Neither are the tumble weeds rolling through the desert trail that is your love life.”

Writer Lady begins to protest.

Carp reaches out and takes both of her hands in his, he looks into her eyes and says, “Sometimes things aren't just about you.  This is about Monitor Man.   This is about all of those women out there that have loved their own Monitor Man. You have a chance that all of us...them would give anything for.  To take the delicious man of their dreams in their arms, put their lips to his, open their mouths and kiss him so deeply, so fully he feels like...well he is very satis...happy when the kiss is over.   You have a chance to claim that unreachable man and if you don't you are condemning us all to empty lives and unfulfilled dreams.  Forever.”

“You aren't expecting much are you?”   Writer Lady asks.   “I'm not sure I can do this.”

“It's easy, just make sure that when you're done it's hard for him to stand up.” Carp says.

Writer Lady begins her long walk into the kitchen feeling naked in more ways than one.  She turns towards the bedroom only to be stopped by Carp.

“Nah uh uh.  Where are you going?”  He asks.

“Sweater.”

Carp turns her back towards the living room.   They continue their journey.

“Not even a sweater.”  Writer Lady grumbles.

“You're on a mission sweetie, soldier on.”  Carp says pushing her into the kitchen and directly for Monitor Man.

She stumbles over her feet trying to avoid all of the pixies.  Writer Lady shifts her weight from one foot to the next as she avoids creating pixie destruction/carnage with every step.

“Oh my gosh.”  Writer Lady says as she stops at the refrigerator.   “Did I step on something?  I feel like I stepped on something.”   She says looking around the floor.

“It's okay Mom.”  Dobby says.  “You didn't step on anything.  Wait a minute...” The ginger tabby slides something along the floor.   “You killed a food dish.”

“Is that all?   Thank goodness for that.”   She says looking where Dobby is pointing.  “I have to be careful I don't want to spill any water.  Ooops...” Writer Lady slips.

Monitor Man reaches out and catches her, holding her steady.   “Whoa...it's okay I've got you.”  He says smiling.

Writer Lady's eyes grow large, she looks across the room at Carp who grins and gives her the 'Okay'.

Tinkletoes' growl starts low and gradually grows louder.  The growling noise keeps growing as do Carp's gestures.  It starts with pronounced puckering and quickly grows to waving arms, Carp holding a couch cushion to his face and kissing it passionately.

A pixie's voice can be heard over the crowd.  “Writer Lady and Monitor Man are a couple.”   Flashes start going off throughout the room.

Another voice calls “We need a picture.  How about a kiss?”
(Yep it was Carp)

Several pixies squeal and others continue encouraging.

Tinkletoes' growling continues his face growing red.  He begins to lean in closer to Monitor Man and Writer Lady.

   There is a cracking noise and everything goes dark.

The Bear In The Room

“I can't believe it. I can't believe it.” One voice calls from the crowd.

“It's Monitor Man!” Another pixie squeals.

The crowd of pixies turn away from the podium to face Tinkletoes and Monitor Man.

“I Love You”, “He's so Enchanting” and “Monitor Man Sparkles!” can be heard throughout the room.

“Are those...pixies?” Monitor Man asks.

Tinkletoes nods and whispers. “Yeah pixies and they love you.” Tinkletoes waves and smiles. “We're gonna talk to them. I'll do the talking. Do whatever I tell you.”

Monitor Man looks at Tinkletoes and begins to protest. Tinkletoes turns to Monitor Man and lowers his voice. “Let me put this to you another way. Do what I say or I will hurt you. Physically.”

Monitor Man looks Tinkletoes in the eyes and says, “I think I can take it.”

“You're under contract right?” Tinkletoes asks quietly. “A little bird told me that you're scheduled to be on camera a lot this year. I wonder if your directors, producers, your agents are going to like it if something really bad happens to your pretty face. You need to ask yourself if you can afford a series of lawsuits because reconstructive surgery can take a long time to recover from. How long is it going to take before you start getting the really good roles again?”

“First of all, you don't scare me.” Monitor Man says calmly scrolling through his phone. “My calendar is full. I have a new project that I would like to start next year. I need this year's money for that. I can't do anything that requires a lot of press time...”

“This is an...” Tinkletoes says.

“appearance” Dobby says. “This is just an appearance.”

“Smiling and taking pictures with a lot of tiny high voiced fans.” Tinkletoes adds guiding Monitor Man into the kitchen and behind the podium. “I told you that Monitor Man and I were buds.” Tinkletoes announces. He is standing next to Monitor Man and has his arm draped around the actor's shoulder. “I have one more thing to share about my pending um...enlistment. Be reassured that you will be in good hands and stuff because Monitor Man is going to be with me the whole time. He's gonna be Vice President. Tell the entire magical world that Tinkletoes and Monitor Man are taking over the White House.”

Flashes go off amongst high pitched squeals of delight and rapid chatter.

Monitor Man turns and stares at Tinkletoes. “What did you just say?” He asks.

“Just nod and smile.” Tinkletoes says grinning. “Nod and smile.”

TP floats on the air between the self-proclaimed mercenary and the actor. “Silly Humans.” He giggles as a flash goes off memorializing the historical moment for all.

Carp looks away from the commotion in the kitchen when his phone vibrates, pulling it out of his pocket he reads the display. He scrolls, reads a little more, smiles and starts tapping away. “This is going to be so much fun.” He sings quietly to himself as he makes his way down the hall and into High Command.

Writer Lady hears the door to High Command open and close behind her. “I'm writing. This had better be good.” She says to her visitor without turning away from the monitor.

“It's fate. Fate's a good reason.” Carp says.

“What's happened?” Writer Lady asks turning around to find Carp butted up against the door scrolling through his phone at a furious pace.

“I knew it. Everything has shifted.” Carp mutters.

“What?”

“I knew this was a sign.”

“What is going on Carp?”

Carp holds his phone up to the light and mutters. “Ha ha! That's it! That's the stuff!”

“Carp!”

“It's Monitor Man. He's returned.” Carp says looking at Writer Lady.

“What?”

“Monitor Man...that incredibly pretty, talented, sexy man with the sweetest butt on either side of the Mississippi? He's here.”

Writer Lady smiles. “'That's nice. Did he come for a visit?” She asks.

“He came here for you.”

“Excuse me?”

“He came here for you.” Carp says. “You my dear are going to be swept away to somewhere romantic. Somewhere beautiful. Somewhere exotic. Or maybe just his place.” Carp takes Writer Lady by the hand and yanks her out of the Big Writing Chair. “Move your ass girl. It's time to pack.”

Writer Lady rights herself, “Wait a sec. Did Monitor Man say that he came here for me?”

“He showed up and he's yummy. We're running with it.” Carp says pulling on her hand.

“Where have I heard that before.” Writer Lady says dropping Carp's hand and sitting back down.

“Why else would he be here?” Carp asks. “Let's go! Your clothes are terrible. There's probably going to have to be shopping.”

Writer Lady doesn't move.

“He wouldn't have had to come all of this way again if you had just kissed him the last time that you saw him.”

“He said that he was seeing somebody.” Writer Lady argues.

“Girl you have got to learn to read people better. If you are standing in front of someone and talking to them you can say that you're seeing them. It doesn't make things permanent.”

“Do you have any idea how underhanded, conniving and slutty you sound right now?”

“Too Alexis Carrington?”

“Yes.”

“I checked all of my sources and they say that everything has shifted and now is the time for you and Monitor Man. It's fated.”

“If it's 'fated' then everything will fall into place whether I do anything or not. I will not get in between a couple. I don't do those things.”

“Don't worry I will.” Carp says.

“You won't either.” Writer Lady says.

“I don't know why you're so worried.”

“I have morals.” She says.

“Monitor Man dumped that girlfriend months ago.”

“What about the one that came after her?” Writer Lady asks.

“I checked with my sources there really isn't anyone special right now.” Carp says.

Writer Lady glares at Carp.

“It's true.” He says as he crosses his fingers behind his back.

“I'm not sure I believe you.”

“Come with me and find out. Please?”

Writer Lady doesn't move. “I don't need to—Fate remember?”

“Fate isn't asking you to do anything...just cooperate.” Carp says.

“I do want to say 'Hello'” Writer Lady says rising from her chair.

“Are you going to wear that?”

When The Bear Gets Past Security

“Space aliens. I was talking about shooting space aliens.”

There is a brief silence then a burst of activity and flashes go off.

“If you have a problem with space aliens what is your philosophy regarding the magical community?” A pixie asks looking at Tinkletoes scornfully.

“I want the beings of the magical community to be safe.” He answers.

“All of them?” Another pixie asks.

Tinkletoes looks at TP, Carp and Dobby for guidance turning back to the pixies he says, “Yeah.”

“That means pixies as well as faeries.” The first pixie says.

“As well as dragons and demons. DE-MONS!” Another pixie stresses in a high pitched voice.

“Dragons and demons too.” Tinkletoes agrees.

A new pixie enters the pool of peporters (those are pixie reporters just so you know) he stops and whispers something to the first pixie. “What about Ninja Zombies?”

“Um...um...” Tinkletoes says his mouth flopping open, closing, and flopping back open.

“Isn't it true that you do not like Ninja Zombies?”

Tinkletoes does not answer.

“Isn't it true that you helped destroy an entire generation of Ninja Zombies during their transition?” She asks.

“They took over a convention center and were destroying everything they could.”

“Didn't you...”

“It was a sci-fi convention.” Tinkletoes clarifies.

The pixies glare...seething with indignation.

“Browncoats were everywhere. In danger. I had to keep my crew safe. Dobby's mom, Writer Lady, and her sister The Lady With The Long Golden Hair were caught in the fray.” He says gesturing to Dobby with a nod of his head. “Monitor Man too. Without my help a lot of people would have died that day.”

The crowd is unimpressed.

“Wouldn't you have done the same? Wouldn't you have saved your friends?” He asks.

The new pixie whispers in the first pixie's ear. The pixie looks up, glares at Tinkletoes and says, “Monitor Man is your friend? My sources say that the last time you thought he was on his way over you put up a six foot barb wire fence around this house. Would you care to comment?”

“No I would not care to comment. Monitor Man and I are buds. We hang out all the time.”

“Really.” The pixie counters. “Because my sources say...”

“Your sources don't know squat.”

Several pixies start yelling at once. The high pitched squeals are less than attractive. Tinkletoes puts his hands to his ears to block out the sound turning to Dobby, Carp, TP and Dylan he says, “What the...heck is this?”

“This is running for President. Silly human.” TP giggles.

“I told you that there were easier ways to be called Commander.” Carp says.

Tinkletoes looks at the crowd of pixies that is making its way closer and closer to the podium. “How do I shut them up?”

“You don't.” TP says giggling.

“There has to be a way.” Tinkletoes says. “A good grenade would clear the room.” He says reaching into a pocket not finding what he is looking for he keeps checking pockets. “I don't have any grenades.”

“This is politics, no grenades allowed. At least not the kind that you're used to.”

Knock...knock

“So what do I do?” Tinkletoes asks.

Knock...knock...knock

“Is someone at the door?”

Knock...Knock...Knock!

“All these annoying pixies taking up space and no one can answer the damn door.” Tinkletoes says.

KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK!

“I'll get it.” He says looking at the mass of pissed off pixies. “At least I'll get a break from this.” Tinkletoes skirts...sorry he's a tough guy...pants his way past the crowd of pixies and answers the door.

“Hi.” Monitor Man says smiling.

Tinkletoes slams the door and stands with his back to it. “Speak of the devil. The bear is at the door.” He mutters. “I knew I should have left that barbed wire up.”

“Who is it?” Dobby asks.

Tinkletoes doesn't answer.

Carp enters the living room, “Well...?”

Nothing.

“You are acting strange today.” Carp walks around Tinkletoes and looks through the glass. “It looks like things just got a lot more interesting.” The assassin squeals with delight running around Tinkletoes and Dobby to throw open the front door. “HI!” Carp says. “Come on in!” He says grabbing Monitor Man by the arm and pulling. “It's cold outside but it's warm in here. Can I take your coat? Your shirt?”

Monitor Man slowly removes his coat. “Thank you. I'd like to keep wearing the rest of my clothes.”

He says.

“Suit yourself.” Carp says. “If you change your mind...” He says heading out of the room.

“Yeah.”

Carp stops in the hall and takes in a deep sniff of Monitor Man's coat before disappearing into Writer Lady's bedroom.

“Was he just smelling my coat?” Monitor Man asks Dobby.

The ginger tabby coughs uncomfortably. “TP put him under a spell. He has to sniff things like a dog would.”

“Watch out for your crotch.” Tinkletoes says with a wry grin.

Monitor Man shifts uncomfortably.

Tinkletoes' Platform

“You don't enlist.  You have to be elected.”  Carp says.

“I've always stood out among the competition.  This shouldn't be too hard.” Tinkletoes says.

“There are nearly twenty other candidates currently running for President.” Carp points out.

“Less than twenty huh?  Light competition.  You keep acting like this is gonna be hard or something.”

“You have to be chosen by a majority of your peers.”  Peter adds.

“I got along with everyone in my company.  I'll have no trouble getting elected.”

“He doesn't understand.”  Dylan says looking at TP.

TP spins midair and in a swirl of activity does a costume change.  The faerie appears in powdered wig, bleached shirt, waistcoat, frock coat and breeches as worn during colonial times.  TP clasps his hands behind him and begins the lesson.

“There has been a President of the United States since 1789.  He is an official elected by a majority in a general election.  These are not your exact peers.  The people you are counting on to elect you to office are the registered voters of this country.  They like a candidate who is a wealthy landowner.  He also needs to look good in a powdered wig.  A...choo!”  TP sneezes into a delicate handkerchief with elegant flourish.

“In other words, it's a popularity contest.” House's words carry into the kitchen from the bonus room.  “You know like in high school.  Who were the most well known people in high school?”

“The ones with the coolest cars.”  Tinkletoes answers.

“Tell us Tinkletoes...did you have a cool car?”   She asks.

“No.”  He admits.  “I enjoyed beating the tar out of the kids who did and the kids who made fun of the kids who didn't have cool cars and the kids who made fun of the kids that didn't have cars.  The kids that had bad attitudes.  The kids that didn't observe school rules.  The kids that were rude to the teachers and the janitor.”

“It sounds like you beat everybody up.”  Carp says.

“Only the people that didn't do what I told them.  High school kids can be pretty dense.”

“Can I be the one to tell him that he has to campaign for votes?  I really want to be the one to explain the whole being nice to people thing.”  House says.

“Something you need practice with darling.”  Mural Man's answer can be heard from the other room.

“I'll practice on you anytime.”  She purrs.

Dylan looks at Dobby and rolls his eyes.  “Grown-ups.”  He says.  The ginger tabby nods in agreement.

“You sir need to become a gentleman.”  TP says.

“Didn't we already do that?”  Carp and Mural Man ask simultaneously.

“You tried.”  Tinkletoes says with a grin.  “I am motivated to get this job.   I'll tell you what, I promise to shower, shave, and shine my combat boots everyday.”

“Hmm...” TP responds pacing back and forth through the air as he ponders Tinkletoes' proposal.

“I'll wear clean cammos too.”

TP looks at Tinkletoes without answering.

“I'll clean my gun and I promise to leave the grenades at home.”

“There are no grenades when running for office.”  Dylan informs Dobby.

“Oy vey.”  Carp groans shaking his head.

“Practice.  You need practice, sir.”  TP says.

“But before he practices he needs a platform.” Carp says.

“No I don't.  The ceiling is too low in this kitchen.   I don't need anything to stand on.”

“Not a platform.  A platform.”  Dobby says.

“I'm not wearing those ridiculous shoes either.  I was born in combat boots.  Combat boots are what I wear.”

“Your platform means what your views are on the issues dummy.”  House says.

“Darling.”  Mural Man warns.

“Sorry sugar lips.  It just slipped out.”

“Slipped out completely on purpose.”  Carp sings softly.

“What is your platform going to be?”   Dylan asks.

Tinkletoes thinks for a moment and says,  “That's simple.  Do what I say.   I have all the guns.”

“You need more than that sir.”  Founding Father TP says.

“Yes what about your stance on the issues?”  Carp asks.

“Stance?”  Tinkletoes repeats.

“You have to convince people that you are going to run the country in their best interests.”

“Why?”

“No one is going to vote someone into office that they know is going to make decisions that will affect them negatively.”   Carp explains.

“I'm running for President.  What I say goes.”

“He doesn't get it.”   Dylan says.

“How about this...what are your philosophies regarding the current issues in this country?”  Carp asks.

“Everyone is going to do what I tell them.  There won't be any issues.”

“Gun control.”  Carp says.

“I'll have all the guns.”

Everyone looks at Tinkletoes hoping for something better.

“Okay...the police and the military can keep their guns but they can only use them at work.”

“What about all of the private citizens that currently own firearms?”

“I'm taking those away.”

Light dims in the room then brightens.  Every open space has been filled with pixies.  Pixies with microphones, recording devices, and cameras of every sort in hand.  A voice squeals, “Over here Mr. Tinkletoes” and when Tinkletoes looks up a flash goes off from a vintage camera blinding him for a moment.

“What about the Constitution?”  One pixie asks.

“Don't you think questions about my health are a little bit personal?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“A citizen's right to bear arms.”  A second pixie prompts.

“I don't care what people wear.  If they want to go sleeveless it's fine by me.”  He says proudly.

“How do you feel about immigration?”  Another pixie asks.

Tinkletoes leans over and asks Dobby “What are they talking about?”

“What is your plan should aliens arrive at our borders.”   House whispers baiting Tinkletoes.

“All aliens will be shot on sight.”   Tinkletoes announces with a smile.

There is an uproar, all the pixies start chattering at once.

Tinkletoes feels a tug on his pant leg.  The self-proclaimed mercenary looks down.  “Make sure they know you're talking about space aliens.”

“Who'd they think I was talking about?”

Tinkletoes' New Mission

“Everything all right in here?”  Tinkletoes asks calling just inside the doorway.

Writer Lady turns to look at him, “Everything is fine” she answers and turns back smiling at Mural Man and House.

Tinkletoes looks in the same direction.   “Hi” he says looking at Mural Man.

“Hi.”  Mural Man says pulling back from House.  He steps to her side and holds her close.

“Making up for lost time, huh? How long were you gone?   Ten minutes?” Tinkletoes asks.

“About that.”  Mural Man answers.

“Good to see you back.”

“It's good to be back.”  Mural Man answers looking at House.

“Can I have a word with you?”  Tinkletoes asks looking at Writer Lady.  She joins Tinkletoes in the laundry room.  “Are you okay?”  He asks.

“Yeah.  Why wouldn't I be?”

“I heard you talking about dead husbands, jealousy, Mural Man, there might have been something about Monitor Man being the man of your dreams.”

“How did you hear that?  You were supposed to be fixing the sink.”

“You remember earlier when I told you about the sharp eyes and keen memory? I can hear pretty good too.”

“Pretty good?”

“It's not a registered super power.  Not yet.  It will be.”

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes and taps her foot.  Slowly.

“I might have had Dylan listen at the door for a second.”  He admits.
“For a second?”

“Maybe a little longer.”

“How long?”

“The whole time.”  Tinkletoes answers.

“What part of 'I'm not talking girl talk in front of you' don't you understand?” Writer Lady asks.  “That conversation was private.  It wasn't meant for other ears.”

“Are you okay?”

“I'm okay.  For the record, I didn't say that Monitor Man was the man of my dreams I said that he was a man that I could only dream of being with.”

“Isn't that the same thing?”   Tinkletoes asks.

“Yes...no.   I don't know!”  Writer Lady looks around at her wet kitchen.  “This place has been drenched.  So have you.”  She leaves the room returning with a mop.   “Here!  Hold this.”  She leaves again, returning with a clean, dry towel.  “Take this!”  Writer Lady and Tinkletoes trade.  He dries off as she mops the water up off of the floor.  He studies her as she works.   “What!”  She says on her way out of the room.

“What, what?”

“You're staring at me.”  She says.

“No.   I was watching you.”

“Did I miss anything in front of the stove?”

“No.”

“Stop looking at me.  It's weird.”

Tinkletoes turns to dry off noticing his reflection in the window.  “It's the whole 'wet' look isn't it?  I'm too sexy.  You can't take it.”

There is a silence.   And then...

“You are too sexy for me.”   Writer Lady confesses, her back to Tinkletoes. “I can't take it anymore.”

She turns to face him then crosses the room quickly, a woman with a purpose and because it's not very far either.   “I don't think I can control myself any longer.” She says, handing Tinkletoes the mop. “Don't say anything.  I want to remember you just like this.”  She says and leaves the room.

Dobby enters as she is leaving.

“Females.”  Tinkletoes says.  He has draped the towel over his shoulder and is slowly mopping the floor.

“Mom is a simple woman.”

Tinkletoes looks at Dobby.

“You spied on her.  It made her mad.  She isn't going to let you have an ego building moment when she's mad.”

“So she left me holding the mop.”

“You have been temporarily demoted Commander.”

“What does a guy have to do to get promoted again?”

“Mom says that men underestimate how sexy they look while cleaning.”

Tinkletoes looks around the room, “In a self-cleaning house?”   He asks and continues mopping.   He shakes his head as he works.   “No.  I'm the man.  I have to do things my way.  She'll call me Commander on my terms.”  Tinkletoes says.  He rests the mop against the cabinet before preparing to leave the room slipping on a puddle of water and landing on his back.  He doesn't move.

“Tink?”  Dobby calls.

The kittens respond to Dobby's call running into the kitchen then down Tinkletoes' face and chest.  Spots and Smudge stop to have a wrestling match on his stomach.   The self-proclaimed mercenary does not move until they run across his most delicate parts--claws extended.  His body convulses quickly bringing Tinkletoes up to a seated position.

“Are you okay?”  Dobby asks.

“I'm okay.”

“Does he need help?”  Dylan asks.  The tow headed boy is standing in the entry, a game controller is in his hand.

“I've got it.”  He says standing up.   “And I know how to become Commander again.”

Dobby, Dylan, and the kittens look at Tinkletoes waiting for the big announcement.

“I'm going to become the Commander-In-Chief then she has to call me Commander.”

House's groan can be heard from the bonus room.  “I told you the ape would ruin it.   I knew this was coming.  I could smell the stupidity from here.”

“House darling...you are supposed to be nice.”  Mural Man says.

“Nice to you.  I have no trouble being nice to you.”  She purrs.

“What would be nice for me is if you apologized.”  Mural Man says.

“Sorry.”  House says half-heartedly(?) no it wasn't half.  It was quarter.  Quarter-heartedly.

“Silly humans doing funny things.”  TP sings flying into the kitchen.

“It's not funny.”  Tinkletoes says.

“No it's not.”  Carp says following TP.  “Do you know who the Commander-In-Chief of the United States is?”

“Whoever's at the top of the chain of command?”   He asks.

“The President.”  Carp says.

“I'm going to get that job and then Writer Lady will call me Commander again.”

“There are better ways to do this.”  Carp sings.

“She would call you Mr. President.”  Dobby says.

“Not Commander?”

“No.”

“But I would be the guy in charge?”

“Yes.”

“I'll change it to Commander when I get the job.”   Tinkletoes announces.  “Where do I enlist?”

Girl Talk

“What was that?”  Writer Lady asks.

“I don't know.”  He answers.   Tinkletoes turns to Carp.    “Did you say something?”

“No.”

Both kittens are climbing on Carp and the assassin is scratching chins and rubbing ears.  There is a smile of contentment on his face.  The “No” startles Smudge who slinks away.  Spots jumps off of Carp's boot and lays down on the floor showing his belly.

“That's no way to train soldiers Carp.”

“You gave me kittens to train not people.  Kittens.”

Writer Lady turns to watch Carp as well.  “A kitten showing its belly is a sign of trust.  It could be seen as submissive behavior.”  She says turning back to more immediate problems.

“Carry on Training Officer.”  Tinkletoes commands with a nod.

Carp does not respond.  The kittens are chasing his hand.

“Why don't you do that lady stuff with her?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Lady stuff.  Do you mean girl talk?”

“Yeah that.”

“Go away.”   Writer Lady says.

Tinkletoes stands and looks at Writer Lady without saying anything.

“I'm not making girl talk in front of...”

“a man?”

“No.  You.  I won't do it in front of you.”

“I'm just too sexy for you.  I get you all flustered.”  Tinkletoes says grinning.

One corner of Writer Lady's lips curve up into a slight smile.

“Is that yes?”  He asks.  “Or no?”

She smiles a little bit more.

“You're not going to tell me are you?”

Writer Lady grins.  “Exactly.   Now go away.”

“What am I supposed to do alone in the dark?”

“Go.”  She turns back to House.   “House?”  She says.  “It is devastating what you are going through.   Losing the man you love.  Mural Man was here with you sharing, laughing with you um...holding you.   A man who was with you day in and day out and suddenly he's gone.  A woman feels so alone.”

“Are you trying to make me feel better?”  House asks.  “Because you aren't helping.   At all.”

“I know how it feels.  To be that sad.  That lonely.   Yearning for one more night, hour, longing to have a few precious moments back again.”

“I'm grieving here.  My grief is much deeper than yours so if you would get to the point.”

“TP says that Mural Man isn't dead.  You can get him back House you just need to love him with more...depth.”

“I am a pictorial representation of a non-living object.   I cannot grow or change.  That evil little faerie knew that when he changed Mural Man.”

“TP's obnoxious but he wouldn't do that.”  Writer Lady says.

House glares at Writer Lady.

“When you and Mural Man first started interacting I hated it.  I didn't like it that he looked so much like Monitor Man.   I hated having the constant reminder.  I guess I was a little bit jealous.  You were just a house at first and then there you are days later getting friendly with the mural of a man that I could only dream of being with.   But Mural Man isn't Monitor Man.  He's a character all his own.  I came to get to know him as the ma...mural that he really is.  You say that you are only a house but you are capable of this type of growth.  I want you to be happy.   I want Mural Man to be able to come back and for the two of you to be happy.  I want to help you do this.  Since I have loved and lost I am going say something I miss about my late husband and then you say something you miss about Mural...”

“His butt.”  House says.

“Man.”   Writer Lady finishes.   “Okay let's try this.  I'm going to say that I loved his smile.  You are going to say...”

“I love his booty.”   House responds.

“This is gonna take a while.   We all know how special Mural Man's a**...butt is.  Try something else.”  Tinkletoes calls from across the room.

“No eaves dropping.”  Writer Lady says.

“There's nothing to do.”  He counters.

“Shhh...”

“She's shushing me.  I can pick off the enemy at 1000 yards and she's shushing me.”

“I miss cuddling with him.”  Writer Lady says.   “Your turn.”

“I miss his a...eyes.  I miss his eyes.”

“See...that wasn't hard.”

“House is still stuck on his looks.   You need to keep going.”  Tinkletoes says.

Writer Lady holds up the flashlight to her face and glares at Tinkletoes.

“I know shush.”

“I miss the way we used to laugh together.”

“Mural Man's um...”  House says stumbling a bit.   She looks at the pink unicorn sticker.   “His heart.  I miss his heart.  He was so kind, caring, and understanding.”

Something rattles in the kitchen the sound of rushing water can be heard in the distance.

“Crap.”   Tinkletoes mutters.  “I hope this flashlight's waterproof.”  The mercenary says stumbling his way back to the kitchen followed by Carp and the two kittens.

“He loved me so much.   I love him.”  House says.

More rattling is heard in the bathroom and another sound of rushing water.

“His heart is so kind and sweet just like the unicorn bandage.”

“Hey!  Make her stop crying before the main lines go!”  Tinkletoes calls.

“Just let me see him.  Please?  Let me tell him that I love him.   Then I'll take my punishment.   I'll go back to being a house and Mural Man can move on to faerie like we'd always planned.”

“You will have to stop crying.”  Writer Lady says looking into House's eyes. “You are damaging your foundation.”

House quietly nods.

“Thank you!”  Is heard coming from the kitchen.

“TP can you help us with this?  TP?”  Writer Lady looks up to find the faerie floating through the air slowly.  He is sitting in a crossed legged position wearing flannel pajamas with pink kittens on them.  He is crying.

“TP.”

“One minute please.”  He says wiping his eyes and blowing his nose into a lace trimmed handkerchief.  Wiggling his fingers he quickly unfolds Mural Man.  TP blows on his own thumb and Mural Man fills out into three dimensional form.  

The lights return with the light in House's eyes.
Mural Man reaches for House's hand.  With his touch she peels away from the wall and fills out into three dimensions.

“Mur...I'm sorry.”

“For what?”   Mural Man asks.

“For being mean, shallow, spoiled, pushy, demanding...mostly for never saying 'I love you.'”

“I love you too.”  He says holding her close.

Writer Lady and TP share a tearful glance as the two lovers are reunited.

Mural Man pulls back,  “Are you sure?   I don't look the same with all of these fold lines.”

“Mural Man I love you.”  House repeats and leans in for another embrace.   “Fold lines?  How many fold lines?”