(Dobby comes into the den)
Dobby: Mom, I want you to know I love you very much. I tried really hard. This food bites and I'm not eating it. (Ptchoo--a piece of kibble gets shot on to the floor).
Yes. You are.
Dobby: No, I'm not. (Ptchoo--another kibble bounces off the top of Mom's foot).
Yes. You are.
Dobby: (Ptchoo, ptchoo, ptchoo the cat shoots kibble out of his mouth and it ricochets off of Mom's shin.
Ouch!
Dobby: Sorry Mom but we're doing this my way now.
Really?
(There is a strange whistling in the air--)
(Mom looks out from under her cowboy hat) You don't have what it takes to run this house FE-LINE.
Dobby: (John Wayne impression) Maybe not little lady, but I do have nine lives. Do you?
Tom Petty- I Won't Back Down
Dobby: I have a theme song too. Did I mention the theme song?
Crap. The shooter with the kick-ass theme song always wins. :(
Draw pussy!
(Mom takes out paper and pencil and draws furiously--tongue sticking out as she concentrates.)
(Dobby stands in one spot. Licks paw. Wipes face. Adjusts hat. Straightens gun belt. Waits...)
Time! (Mom proudly holds up her drawing of very curvy girl kitty--Dobby's eyes bug out--for a second--he's not dead is he?)
Dobby: Mom just go get the tasty cat food. Give up!
Why?
Dobby: So I don't have to put this on Facebook and share it. (holding up picture of Mom in hot rollers)
No!
Dobby: I will. (Dobby looks at picture) At first I though aliens had invaded then I saw you putting the clips away after the curlers had cooled off. I figured it out. :)
You are never allowed to use that picture against me again. It's off the table. You know that. It's in the Mischief Honor Code.
Dobby: Yes. I know. (Paw to face--Mom's idea) Everyone knows that there is no honor in mischief.
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