Lights Out

“My turn?” House asks. “There's nothing wrong with me.” She says.

“I would have to agree. House is beautiful.” Mural Man says.

“Oh Mur...” House purrs.

“People say I wrote fluff.” Carp mutters. “Dr. TP can you check Mural Man's brain. There might be a head injury that's causing this behavior.”

“No.” Dr. TP says. “The brain injury you are suggesting would create a distinct crinkling to his surface. It is House that has...um...how should I put this? Issues.”

“Issues? What issues.” House says.

“Not enough respect.” Dr. TP says. “You don't show Paper Man.”

“Mural Man.” Carp, House, and Mural Man say, correcting the faerie in unison.

“Mural Man.” Dr. TP says, not acknowledging his error. “The same respect he shows you, you do not show him. You are selfish, demanding, and most bossy.”

“I am not!” House yells. “Am I? AM I?” She demands looking at Mural Man. “If I was you would say something. Wouldn't you? Wouldn't YOU!”

Dr. TP continues speaking calmly finishing his thoughts. “When Diomedes was sick and you were a giant sewer pipe for dragon waste Mural Man stood by you, reassuring you of his love, telling you how beautiful you were dripping and smelling of dragon poop. Now when he has three scratches along his buttocks you are saying terrible things. You are acting like you only have love for the image of the man. The enchanted being that Mural Man is. He deserves to be loved. Every edge, every crinkle of his single dimension. One dimension is how Mural Man exists. It is how he was made. If you can't love him the way that he loves you then Dr. TP says that this affair is over.” The faerie raises his hand. A glittering light radiates out of his fingers. When the light reaches Mural Man he loses his glue layer and detaches from the wall. Dr. TP wiggles his fingers and Mural Man's edges come together folding Mural Man into a bandage sized square. When it's over all that remains visible is the sparkling pink unicorn bandage. The faerie stops wiggling his fingers and with a wave of his tiny arm the bandage affixes itself to the wall next to House up high and well out of the reach of both kittens and children. “Here is your Mural Man.” The faerie says. “Until you can love the imperfections, the scratches, and the scars this is all of Mural Man you will see.”

“NO!” House screams.

Everything goes dark.

In High Command:

“Well...crap.” Writer Lady says. “So much for continuing the story. Where did I put that flashlight?”

In the living room:

“What the...” Tinkletoes says, he is holding a controller in his hands.

“I didn't do it.” Dylan says. The boy is sitting next to Tinkletoes on the floor holding the other controller.

“Relax kid. I'm gonna find out what's going on. Stay put.” Tinkletoes says. “As soon as I find the flashlight.” There is a sound of footsteps running away and returning. The big red flashlight meets Tinkletoes' head with a thud. “Ouch.”

“I helped.” Dylan says.

“Yeah you did.” Tinkletoes says, taking custody of the flashlight. “Thanks. I've got this now.” He says standing up. “Everyone sit still and stay put.” Tinkletoes takes a step without using the flashlight tripping in sync with a terrifying scream. “Sh**,” he says, righting himself and looking around.

“Careful!” Dylan says.

“What was that?”

“You stepped on my dragon.”

“Sorry, Fur...”

“Furnatche.”
“Furnot...what?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Fur-nat-che.” Dylan repeats with emphasis.

“Sorry...lil' dragon.”
The mercenary tries again. There is another disagreeable noise.

“What's that?” Tinkletoes asks.

“My tail.” Diomedes says.

“Sorry.”

“Perhaps if you turned the flashlight on.” Diomedes suggests.

“Yeah, well...I was just getting to that.” Tinkletoes says, turning the flashlight on. “The lights go out and everybody gets worked up.” He says, slipping and falling he lands on his face. “What was that?”

“What was left of the pizza.” Peter says.

Tinkletoes shines the light on what's left of the pizza box's contents. “Save that piece for Ray. He'll eat anything.” He turns and shines the beam of light on his preferred route to High Command, standing up he sets off for the room and Writer Lady one last time. “If I step on you it's your own fault.” Tinkletoes announces as he leaves the room.

There's a knock on the door. Writer Lady opens it to find Tinkletoes holding the flashlight's beam in front of his face.

“Have you seen my flash...light? Thanks.” She says, taking it from his hand.

“You were alone in this room in the dark. I came to the door with the light in my face like some kind of maniac. Weren't you scared?”

“No. You looked the same to me.”

“Oh. So, what's up with the power?” Tinkletoes asks.

“I don't know. Don't you know?” Writer Lady asks.

“Did you pay the bill?” He asks.

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes.

“Of course you did.”

“I didn't do anything in here that would cause the power to go out. What are the rest of you doing?” Writer Lady asks.

“Assassin's Creed Tournament.”

“This is inconvenient for you too then.” Writer Lady says.

“The little one is really kickin' my a...butt. I was making my comeback when this happened.”

“I've been in here. Everyone else is in the living room?” Writer Lady asks.

“Yeah except for Carp he's in the bonus room working with the kittens.” Tinkletoes says.

“And TP?”

“TP's not here is he?” Tinkletoes asks.

“There are two of us unaccounted for that could make the power go out this suddenly. TP and House.” Writer Lady says. “We need to find out where they are.”

“After you.” Tinkletoes says.

“What? The lights are out.”

“What about it?”

“You're the big, strong man you go first.”

“You have the flashlight.” Tinkletoes points out.

Writer Lady hands Tinkletoes the flashlight.

“Like I said, I'm bigger, stronger and have the training I should go first.” Tinkletoes announces.

Writer Lady sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Just because I'm walking in front of you doesn't mean you can pinch my butt either. I know it's impressive but be a lady and keep your hands to yourself.”

“Not a problem.” Writer Lady mutters.