Dobby's Despair - Part II

I cried out but all that did was make the strange people and animals look at me more. A big black dog kept trying to sniff at me. His person kept pulling him back to her. Mom came back and sat down next to me, I think we were on a bench like the one I sit on in the den at home. Mom started talking to the other people in the room with us. The big black dog and her owner settled down across the room from us. This made it harder for the big black dog to sniff at me. I was grateful. Hearing Mom's voice made things a little better. Seeing other animals in the room just as worried as I was helped too. I would not be alone, whatever my fate. I cried out periodically to remind Mom who she came to this strange place with, she was awfully friendly with the dogs. Things were going well. Everyone was even talking about me, the best looking guy in the room. I turned my head forward so the strangers could admire me better, when the man with the little dog exclaimed, “My god would you look at the head on that thing.” My eyes widened wondering what kind of place this was anyway. Was there a new dog in the room? Was it...bigger than the last? Mom looked at me and said, “He is a big boy isn't he? I always thought he got big for a cat that has been fixed.”

They were talking about me! I couldn't believe it. I am male so I'm bigger than other cats. I always thought of myself as “stocky”. “Stocky” is good. I'm intimidating. A good protector for Mom. That man said it like I was some kind of circus freak or something. Well, you know what, big head...big brain. That man didn't even care that his little dog was shivering. It was freezing. At least I have a fur coat  and a warm towel to lay on. What did his prissy ass dog have? Not a damn thing. He calls himself an animal lover.

I was still figuring out what the hell we were doing here anyway. Hoping a year was a long time. I don't want to see this place again. It sucks. Animals and their people would be called away and then strange noises would be made. New people and animals would come in from outside. One man came in with a really big “puppy”. Mom petted him, the puppy not the man. He got so excited he tried to climb in her lap.  The puppy not the man. No one is allowed on Mom's lap. I don't even sit there much. You get comfortable and she stands up. Every time.

No I don't.

Dobby: Yes. You do.

It's your fault. You take too long to decide to sit on my lap.

Dobby: We finally were called back--- into the abyss. It was a room with those metal tables I hate. The last time we did this there was a strange man who kept playing with my butt. Mom let him.

He was cleaning your rectal glands for you.

Dobby: He didn't ask first. If he had asked I would have said “NO”. Anyway, I started crying out in protest, “Don't touch my butt. Stay away from my butt.” Mom let me out of the carrier and I came out slowly and bravely hoping that if I faced this heinous torture I would be allowed to go home with Mom. I love the obnoxious bitch.

I love you too, sweetie.

Dobby: Mom, please!

(Mom duck tapes her mouth—that's love right there)

Dobby: The strange man picked me up and put me on something he called a “scale”. Something on it lit up. The man and Mom looked at the bright numbers. Mom smiled and sounded more relaxed after that. They talked about food while he looked at my ears, eyes and teeth.

I thought he was okay. Then, he kept calling me a “she” and asked if I was twelve. 'Cuse me. Twelve? You think I'm twice my age and a girl? The first guy milks my butt the next guy can't tell I'm a boy cat...where is Mom finding these people? Someone help her...Please!

He poked a sharp stick into each hip. Stuck some really nasty muck down my throat he called “wormer”-- “just in case”. “Just in case?” Whoever heard of eating something so nasty if they don't have to? These humans are flipping crazy! Mom seemed lots happier. She opened the carrier door and I ran inside (you know casual like). She closed the door and said “home” a lot. We left the room and headed back for the door that led outside. Mom set me down just inside the door stopping at the counter. I cried out. “Don't stop! We are almost out of this stinking place. Mo-om!” I glared at the over friendly puppy still waiting with his human. The minute Mom picked up my carrier to leave I flipped that puppy the paw and was out of there. As I'd hoped my bravery had payed off. Mom looked at her options and decided to keep me after all. We were in the car and on our way home when Mom said, “I don't know if that bug spray is going to be dry yet. It's such a pretty day. Why don't we drive out to the farm and tell Grandma all about what a good kitty you were at the vet?” Was she nuts? I knew that coffee helped her sometimes. I didn't know it kept her sane. I cried out in protest, “No farm Mom. You need coffee. Home. Home now.” This time she listened and we went home.

(Removing duck tape from mouth) Are you done?

Dobby: Yes, Mom. That's it.

Okay. You know that trip was no picnic for me either. You have a really big mouth.

Dobby: Get it over it Mom. The world doesn't revolve around you. It's too busy revolving around me.

Really? Crap.