Facepalm

“No way. There is no way I will put on a dress.” Carp says pacing Writer Lady's living room floor.

“But you're more in touch with your feminine side. The old man is so distraught he might actually buy it.”

“I'm not helping. If you want to get permission like this you're going to have to put on the dress yourself.” Carp argues.

“If I put on the dress it's just not gonna look right. Women just don't have biceps like these.” Tinkletoes says, flexing a well sculpted arm.

TP's giggling can be heard in the background. “I will help you. I know a trick.” He says. The giggling continues.

“Now you're helping?” Carp asks glaring at TP. “Writer Lady asked you to supervise. You can't help.”

“Technically, Mom said TP was supposed to make sure Tinkletoes actually got permission from the neighbors and the signatures. She didn't leave specific guidelines.” Dobby says.

“Yeah! What he said.” Tinkletoes says with a big grin.

“She said that TP has permission to “use magic to stop you if you try to pull a fast one.” Carp reminds them.

“Mom didn't say anything about using magic to help.” Dobby points out.

“No she didn't!” Tinkletoes says pointing to Dobby. “That's if I try to pull a fast one. Dressing up, breaking in, finding the right place to wait, convincing Mr. Donut to do what I ask because I'm the ghost of his dead wife. I have to say, this crap is taking forever. I'm definitely not pulling a fast one.”

Carp raises his hand to his forehead, slowly runs his hand down his face, and begins to mutter. “I speak English, everyone hears English, yet no one is listening. Absolutely no one is listening.” Raising his head and looking back up at Tinkletoes he says, “What if someone sees you breaking in? What if they call the police?”

“It's the Fourth of July. Smelts is on duty. He won't arrest me. I'm a lot bigger than he is and besides I'm a lot smarter than he is.”

TP giggles.

“I don't know what's scarier about that. The fact that you can outsmart Smelts or the fact the this town finds it in their best interest to give Smelts a gun. I think it's time to move.”

TP is still giggling.

“You know something Carp? You were a lot more supportive of this idea yesterday.” Tinkletoes points out.

“You weren't talking about breaking and entering yesterday.” Carp answers.

“You have a lot to learn if you're going to be any kind of assassin.”

“Nope. I've got it all figured out. Don't do anything illegal and you won't get caught.”

“Assassins kill people. Killing is illegal.” Tinkletoes points out.

“I've found a way around that. I've decided since I always miss anyway, I'm going to use it to my advantage.” Carp answers proudly. “I'm going to attach a note to my arrow—when the target reads my note it will say: This has been a botched attempt on your life. Clean up your act. Don't make me come back here.”

“So instead of just neutralizing the target and collecting your money, you're going to stalk someone, attack them, and leave a traceable death threat?” Tinkletoes asks.

“It's possible this plan needs a little bit more work.”

Tinkletoes raises his hand to his head and runs it down the length of his face.

“I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Now put on the dress.” Tinkletoes says pointing to a full length flowered dress on a hanger that is floating in the air next to TP.

“I told you before. If you want to deceive that poor old man do it yourself.”

“I've had enough of your arguing Carp. Be a man and put on the stinkin' dress!”

TP looks at the dress he made materialize a few minutes before. Leaning in he sniffs. TP looks down at Dobby. The ginger tabby makes his way to the dress. Standing on his back legs, Dobby climbs up the skirt of the dress as far as he can without losing his balance. Sitting back down and looking up at TP, Dobby shakes his head confirming the dress smells fine.

“You have issues Carp. Some serious issues.” Tinkletoes yells, walking to the bathroom, taking the dress with him as he passes by it.